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<3 Aley <3
♥ Aley
my friends basically own your face. they are rad times a million. I'm a computer whore and I have a cat with the longest name you've ever heard. I love My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy. I also really like Mindless Self Indulgence, the Blood Brothers, and The Used and From First to last. My life is music and I couldn't live with out it. I bring my camera everywhere (also see: camera whore.)
♥ bands
My Chemical Romance, Fall Out boy, Mindless Self Indulgence, The Blood brothers, Bright Eyes, The Used, Jamisonparker, Senses Fail, Matchbook romance, Panic! at the disco, The Acadmy is, Gym Class Heroes,Taking Back Sunday, and a lot more.
♥ lyrics
cubicles
My Chemical Romance
♥ communities
___msi, ___my_chem_love, __bangx3bang__, _dollfaceicons, _falloutboy, _frankiero, _hxc_hood_rats_, _starwarsicons_, _xmikeywayx_, clandestine_ind, decay_dance, demerit7rock, falloutboylove, fbrrecords, heychrislurkers, im_so_dirtybabe, mcr_army, mcr_icons, mcrclaims, mcrism, mesticons, patd, patrickxpeter, penceyprep_, petewentzwhores, sensesfailfans, takebacksunday_, the_mcr_effect, theacademyis, trohman_hurley, we_love_kate, xfucked_up_kidx, xo_fob_ox
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[11 Aug 2005|01:14pm] |
oh dearest loves of mine.
I've missed you dearly.
<3
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| I want to know the real her. |
[02 Aug 2005|12:24pm] |
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Sound Effects and Overdramatics (the used) |
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I want to tell her everything. the stories about how I know who she really is but I can't. I have to make this thing last for p and t's sake, because thats what keeps me going.
Theres so many times when I've wanted to talk to her..not who she pretends to be.
Theres been so many times where I wish that I could give up the charade but I have a feeling she doesn't want to and for now, I'm perfectly fine with that.
But I'd love to be her friend either way. Shes really cool. |
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[26 Jul 2005|02:10pm] |
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mosh pits by yourself to a recorded performance on jimmy kimmel live of fall out by in your living room is one of my new favorite things..
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[25 Jul 2005|10:32pm] |
I made some wallpapers. I would say that they are mostly some of my best work including the Frank Iero one.please comment and tell me if you're taking one.
( 4 + )
x-posted
if you want them better sized. IM me at iamXaHEARTATTACK on aim//bangxagainstxthexceiling@hotmail on msn// or mycrimsonxromance@yahoo.
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[25 Jul 2005|11:06am] |
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 hehe sleepy kitty |
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I wrote this last night, I've always thought tiredness brought out a truth in me.
theres so many things I want to say and so little words to explain them..I feel like I'm slowly slipping from the edge. I've found an escape but my room gets lonely sometimes. my addiction for the computer has gotten so bad I don't like getting out of my house let alone out of my room.
I feel like I need to get out but being off aim for more then the four hours required is like... ngkd;alga. I don't know what to do but I wish they had a twelve step program. I also feel that I'm slipping away from the outside world. I feel like I'm becoming more antisocial then ever. I want to sit online and talk to pete. but I really want to be out with my friends doing god knows what. doing stuff..out of my house.
its not so easy when your best friend lives like 10 miles away and you can't drive. theres no escape.
I'm also worried that the fact that I see my mom like twice a day isn't something good because what if she does pass away? its going to be my fault that we didn't see eachother enough because I was always on my computer. Thats what I've been doing with my 4 hours. hanging out with my mom.
I wish I had more friends that could hang out during the day. I wish my mom wasn't sick. I wish my dad didn't live 2000 miles away. (heartbreak a fake smile and 2000 miles..it fits me now) I wish I was going to see my brothers before christmas. I wish my dad wasn't going back overseas, I wish I my best friend didn't live so far away, I wish all these things I wished had even a miniscule chance of ever coming true but thats what wishes are right? dreams that have like 0 to none chance of coming true.
I'm slowly but surely restarting my life. new screenames are just the start. I've moved my room, got another new bed. gotten it all set up. now I just need to work on being online less which I think will be easier after I make more friends in high school.
I seem to be unhappy with my life. I'm in the middle of everything and sometimes I push away my feelings just for them to rush back and me and cascade all over everything I'm doing. That night when they cascade is a night of depression that is deeper then the deepest ocean ( you don't survive from a night like this) These kind of nights stick with you forever. They are the ones you remember when you are looking at your life and I wonder if I'm truly sane. I don't feel it but I'm becoming more and more content with the little sanity I have. I feel disturbed by the things I think are cool because I know it makes people think that I'm crazy. the fact that I like blood and guns makes people think I'm crazy and all that shit. including my mom I believe.
If I could I'd pick every single person I know out and tell them what they mean to me. if they mean anything to me at all. tell them how they affected me and make sure they know how important they are I feel the need to make people understand that this smile isn't welcoming. its polite. I smile when I don't like you just because I hate hurting people. This alas is the worst problem I have. I hate hurting strangers but I'm perfect at hurting those I care about.
Theres so many more things to say but my eyes are slowly growing heavy and I think its about time for me to go to sleep. I am left on the note of confusion. confusion in emotion. I don't know how I feel and I've been searching for the right words for awhile now. Maybe someday I'll find them.
so that is how I felt last night. cheesy lines but I guess whatever works to lull me into some sort of happiness. I certainly feel whiney posting this and I am definitely not searching for sympathy because I could care less what strangers care about or if they care about me. As rude as that sounds though If I'm your friend on here then I probaby thought you were pretty cool so that should make you feel better right...(just go along with it).
Sorry if this came across as whiney but I feel like its just something I have to say.
<3 Aley
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[24 Jul 2005|11:25pm] |
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new layout thanks to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ohemgerard leave her comments for making such a mucho beautiful layout.
love you.
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| I love my mom because she fucked my dad. I love my mom because she oooh yeahhh |
[23 Jul 2005|12:57pm] |
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Hey loves.
don't update here much.
somethings been bothering me because its all I see around these places. I'd never leave no matter how much it bothered me because I'm a whore for this place and well. theres too many cool people to leave.
I hate stupid whores that are set on the fact that they are "hot" and "scene" and "emo" when they're really rude ass people with an attitude problem who could gain from somebody kicking their ass and telling them they're a bitch.saying look I'm hot and shit isn't self confidence its like insecurity that you have to convince yourself that you're "hot" and you most likely aren't. its bullshit, truly. I want to shoot people like that because they are so full of themselves. they need to get off their lame asses and stop eating twinkies and get a life. they aren't electrickkkk or any of that shit and they just sound arrogant and self centered oh and side note on the above. if you aren't black don't say the n word because that just makes you sound racist and retarded.
the above was taken out of an aim convo and I'm dead serious. this bugs me so much.
gdank;gnad g;
love aley
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[17 Jul 2005|10:04pm] |
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hello,
I got bored today so I redid my lj. new layout. new information, and I finally figured out how to put pictures of me in my profile because I'm slow like that. leave comments and I'll love you forever. <3
<3Alexandra
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[17 Jul 2005|03:54pm] |
Bangxlikexwhoa
1. Copy and paste this into your journal:
<*font color="USERNAME"> <*b>USERNAME<*/b>
2. Eliminate the asterisks.
3. Replace "yourusername" with your user name.
4. See what color you are
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[06 Jul 2005|11:36am] |
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From First to Last |
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So I'm getting ready to go out of town again. First the Ozarks now Sioux city to see the family. How fun..right? anyways. I get to see my dad for the first time since like april and for the last time until December when I fly to hawaii to visit him. (I'm such a good friend that I'm bringing Katelin with me right? Merry Christmas.) I'll be back on monday so If I miss out on something leave me a comment and let me know. I'll try to get on the computer at the grandparents house but it will happen late at night and her computer is as slow as hell. Love <3
omgxAleyxCore
you should go to my xanga because I tend to update there more.
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| Warped kicked my ass twice over |
[23 Jun 2005|06:24pm] |
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Fairly Odd Parents |
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Warped tour was yesterday. It kicked my ass twice over!
First was Matchbook Romance which was kick ass even though the crowd was at a stand still when they played their new stuff. Second we saw Senses Fail, Maddie went to the fuse tent because she was too hot and Hayley and I suffered in the front of the pit, it was worth it except buddy ruined his hair like whoa.
I then found water because Hayley fell in the pit and couldn't move her arm. We then stood in line for a half an hour getting yelled at by some guy SINGLE FILE NO PICTURES BLAH BLAH to meet fall out boy, Patrick signed, gave me a smile and said thank you. Andy I had already met so I walked past him, Joe, I apologized for forgetting his comic and he said thanks and told me I was sweet to think about him, and then Peter. He grabbed my paper and we sat there and like smiled at eachother for like awhile until he was done and like we didn't stop smiling until the next kid stepped forward. I slowly walked away and we went to go relax for awhile before getting upfront for fall out boy in which we had to watch some band called strung out and shit to wait, they weren't that bad. We made it in the second row back in the pit and we were fucking set. Fall Out Boy rocked x 57390750937503917501 and when ever pete and I caught eachothers glances we would hold a fucking smile (like in the signing) until he had to do something. (that happened about 6 times) Hayley lost me and apparantly got out, I was starting to run low on water after their set (Seeing as I'd been in the middle without any for quite awhile.) but MCR was up next and I personally as sick as I was feeling couldn't give up frankie.
MCR came out, franks shirt was like I can't get it out of my head (I am a monster, I am a monster, I am a monster, I am a monster, I am, Destroy me) I don't know why but I really liked his shirt. Gerard's hair doesn't look bad, the set was awesome, Frank started to scream trust me but it was ended short with him knocking over his mic. MCR got to play ten extra minutes which was awesome. I held my strength for MCR and right as they were walking off stage I passed out. I woke up being pulled out of the pit, they took me backstage and I got ice rubbed on my shoulders and shit, Gerard and Frank walk past to see Avenged Sevenfold, notice me. and mouth are you ok. (FRANKIE!! and GERARD!!) I nodded and they proceeded. I say it was worth passing out but my mom was angry. I had been apart from everyone for two hours and nobody could find me. I was taken to the first aid tent and they took care of me, got me stable again. I then walked to my mom and she said it was time to go even though I didn't get to see hawthorne heights.
On side notes... Dirty signed my release the bats and I ended up telling him about how katelins little sister does it in the pool, he said it was a good saying and she should continue to say it. Hayley lost her glasses and her camera. I got a picture with Andy but the rest of fall out boy I wasn't allowed too. They're all really nice, I love them to bits. I got the I Heart Revenge shirt from Clandestine and almost got my frank gloves. my mom said gloves are a no. I had a wonderful time. I'm red as fuck. Its cool though, I had a blast.
<33 Aley x33
PS. Peter has a Beautiful smile
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| forget about the dirty looks. The photographs your boyfriend took. |
[08 Jun 2005|05:36pm] |
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i was saved by grace, but destroyed by naivity.
faith is replaced with a logic so cold,
i disregarded what i was, now that i'm older.
i know much more than i did back then,
but the more i learn, the more i can't understand.
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Every word a bullet, every phrase a loaded gun. Im staring down the barrell aimed straight for your heart. You've used this same technique to shoot mine through. Its bled completely drained from the inside out. My tears having faded to meaningless drops full of hatred for how much I love you. No matter how many times you shoot, no matter how many times you pull the trigger. I love you even more. My finger pulls the trigger this time. You have no race to run. I'll make sure you suffer, the way that I did. I'll make sure that you know that every perfect bullet through your heart is a repair to mine. My sacrifices have ruined me. Your words have broken my soul. I hope you know this day to day and I hope you pay the price. I hope you feel the pain of payment, I hope it hurts you just right. I won't let you break my heart again, although I know I will probably fail, because every time you say I love you I seem to trust you more. To prevent my heart from breaking I pull the largest bullet alive. The bullet that fills your heart with depression that will never ever fail.I hate you - <3 Aley
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| From the Razor to the Rosary we can lose ourselves and paint these walls pitch barn red. |
[08 Jun 2005|10:49am] |
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The Blood Brothers -Crimes- Live at the Apocalypse Cabaret |
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I'm creepy. I know it. I figure, taking risks has to be something we do in life. No matter if we die holding someones hand. We are going to die alone. In the end. Status won't matter. In the end. We're going to die whether we are famous, popular, nerdy, a loser, a stoner, anything. We are going to die alone. When we die, its not going to matter who we were. People may honor you but are you fucking there to see it? no. So sending someone something or asking some one something isn't the end of the world. I figure we have one lifetime to take chances. Are we going to let that stop us from things? No. I need to make a thick realization that everyone dies.
For awhile now. I've been terrified of death. I've been terrified of losing someone, I realize one day I'm going to die. that terrifies me to NO end.
Death and religion are scary things. God do I wish they were never invented. Religion anyways. I guess Death is healthy.
<3 Aley
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[23 Apr 2005|05:45pm] |
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Calm Before the Storm -Fall out Boy- |
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So, I went to the funeral yesterday. I can't believe it still. I'm still in major shock. My dad wants to get me away from the whole thing so hes flying me out to kentucky. I'll miss school Thursday, Friday and the following monday.
The most touching part of the funeral was when Hali's 2nd adoptive family. her dad in that family got up and talked about how they met when she was 4 and Hali was such good friends that she would go on trips and stuff with them. They had a baby named Aspen and it was like her little sister. This line made me cry: so when my little girl gets older and asks who the older girl in the picture was I will proudly say that is your older sister hali.
that line made me bawl.
</3 Aley
RIP Hali, we miss you already. you are forever in our hearts.
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| RIP HALI. I MISS YOU |
[21 Apr 2005|05:14pm] |
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RIP HALI |
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Hawthorne Heights -silver bullet- |
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I can't believe she did it.
( RIP HALI )
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[20 Apr 2005|08:01pm] |
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MCR -demolition lovers- |
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I colored a picture you should look.
CLICK
<3 Aley
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| The thing is, she can't type for shit so when she's whining you can barely understand it anyways! |
[20 Apr 2005|07:13am] |
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Dance Dance -Fall Out Boy- |
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I'm getting ready to head to school but I have to say that I'm starting to realize what I really want in life. Its like I have always wondered what I was going to end up like and I think that I'm starting to become, be come what I'm gonna be like that is. Theres always a room for change and I know that I won't stay that way forever but for some reason I like am grasping on for dear life to the things that I have or had and it isn't letting me move on. so I decided that I was gonna move on. I need to try to get over my computer addiction and I want to be more outwardly social. So this is my pact. with myself. I'm workin on not talking about people behind their backs (I already mest up. not a good sign ehh?) and I'm trying to get my priorities straight. I got good grades I guess I mean like I'm not failing anymore but school has lost its fun. Im ready for school to be out. like 29 days left (thank fucking god)
<3 Aley
PS:
Asked By Aley
Patrick. How was your dump really after that half a bottle of tobasco sauce.
Answered By Pete: wahahahahahaha first good question. hot and tasty.
******
Asked by Hayley
Pete. is the pubestache really a 3-4 hour process?
Answered by Pete: Thats the price of beauty baby. You should see how long it takes to do the whole beard!
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| Secrets don't make friends |
[18 Apr 2005|08:55pm] |
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Gym Class heroes -pillmatic- |
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Im trying this new thing where if you aren't around then nothing bad about you is said. secrets don't make friends.
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